$5BN OF LOST ASSETS FOUND IN SBF’S HAIR-HEDGE
Defrauded FTX customers celebrated today, after assets to the value of $5 billion were found in Sam Bankman-Fried’s hair.
SBF TRIAL – DENIES STEALING, BY STEALING ‘NOT GUILTY’ PLEA
FTX’s founder, SBF, accused of stealing funds to shore up his flagging Almeda co., now stands accused of stealing a ‘not guilty’ plea to flag up his flagging fraud defense.
FTX collapses then Terra Luna… is SBF to blame for everything?
US Federal Prosecutors are finally investigating muppet-haired Sam Bankman-Fried, and not just for the collapse of FTX …but, astonishingly, also for market manipulation that caused the Terra Luna crash. But can SBF really responsible for EVERYTHING that’s gone wrong?
WHY I MISSED SBF’S FAILINGS’, SAYS BAHAMAS ATTORNEY-GENERAL
At a press conference this week, the flustered Attorney-General of the Bahamas, Ryan Pinder defended his country’s regulatory oversight of Sam Bankman-Fried and FTX.
BLACKBEARD THE PIRATE ACCUSES SBF OF ‘GOING TOO FAR’
There were furious scenes in the Bahamas today, as Blackbeard slammed Sam Bankman-Fried for damaging the reputation of the pirates.
What Else Could SBF stand for?
Sam Bankman-Fried… a man so famous — and now so infamous — he’s often known only by his initials, SBF.
FTX CRASH KILLS IRONY
Amidst the many victims of the FTX crash, one of the most famous has been irony, which suffered a grievous attack in recent days.
Do Kwon Thanks FTX: ‘You’ve made me look competent!’
Not long after FTX filed for bankruptcy, to our great surprise Planet Crypto received a call from noted on-the-run crypto-crim Do Kwon, who wanted to offer his thoughts on what’s been going on.
WHAT NEXT FOR SB-F? IT’S… SAM BANKMAN-FRIED CHICKEN
With his time in the crypto-world surely now over, frizzy-bonced-numpty Sam Bankman-Fried will be forced to look for an alternative career. In an exclusive report, Planet Crypto can reveal that he’s thinking of opening a restaurant — and we got a sneak peek at its menu.
SAM BANKMAN-FRIED: “I TRIED TO WARN YOU.”
Sam Bankman-Fried has told Planet Crypto that he tried to warn us he was bad at finance.