This week, a new awards ceremony was announced – The Crypties – which celebrate the best contributors to Web 3.0.
But what about the worst contributors to Web 3.0? Are they going to be recognised???
Just as The Oscars has The Razzies, the alternative awards show that recognises the worst films of the year, so too, will the Crypties will have the Crapties!!
And it’s run by us!! Planet Crypto is to announce its own awards for the Crypto industry celebrating all the Shitcoiners, No-coiniers and No-brainers who sully the world with Crypto Crap!!!
Whereas the Crypties will take place in the glamorous surrounds of Miami Beach on November 30th…
…the Crapties will take place the day before in the less salubrious surrounds – of our office.
And this week we spoke to our first nominee, for a hotly contested category – Villain of the Year…
PC – Do Kwon! How are you?
DK – I’m amazing!
PC – And where are you?
DK – Ha ha! You’re not going to catch me that easily!
PC – You can’t blame us for trying. How does it feel to be nominated for The Crazzies?
DK – Well it’s not a surprise. Whatever I do, I am the best at it. Whether that’s building businesses or instantly destroying them.
PC – You’re certainly good at boasting.
DK – I’m amazing at boasting!
PC – We’re very excited about The Crazzies and there are some strong contenders for Villain of the Year – Alex Mashinsky of Celsius, Binance’s CZ, 3AC’s Su Zhu, Brian Armstrong of Coinbase…
DK –You’re listing my Facebook friends!
PC – How do you rate your chance of winning?
DK – Well, they are pretty big villains but we haven’t we heard their stories before? Oh, it’s a company that over-leverages – big deal. Oh, it’s a nasty boss – boo hoo. Terra LUNA, now that’s a story that’s got everything – a remorseless villain, a police hunt, and an amazing twist – a stablecoin that turned out to be the exact opposite. Losing 99.7% of its value in days? I mean, no-one saw that twist coming. It was like some serious M. Night Shyamalan shit right there.
PC – Well I’m glad someone is pleased with it. The awards will no doubt be a showcase for fashion too. What will you be wearing?
DK – My stylist is working on a few looks. Maybe something orange and jumpsuit-y, maybe some kind of stripey uniform with handcuff accessories. It kind of depends on my circumstances at the time.
PC – And will you be bringing anyone special?
DK – I will. My lawyer.
PC – Well good luck. In a nod to The Oscars, the winner of Villain of the Year will be punched in the face on stage, so I am sure a lot of your former customers will be hoping you win.
DK – You’re funny! But seriously, I would like to win so I can dedicate the award to my biggest fan. They write me love letters every day, they never lost faith in me, they adore me.
PC – Who is that?
DK – It’s me. Only one person is amazing enough to be Do Kwon’s biggest fan, and that’s Do Kwon! Catch me if you can, losers!
Planet Crypto’s The Crapties Awards will be announced on 29th of November.