Roars and growls and are sounds you might typically hear at a zoo.. but not today. These fierce noises are being made Logan Paul’s disgruntled fans, who are seething at his cryptocurrency game, CryptoZoo.
They trusted Paul’s promise to sell them collectables in a ‘fun game that makes you money.’
But a year on, the game does not seem to have materialised… nor does there seem to be any collectible animals.
Paul has already threatened to sue critics, and Planet Crypto is delighted to say it’s secured this exclusive-angry statement from Paul himself:
‘Look. Fans keep saying my CryptoZoo is a complete scam, because I’ve taken their money, but haven’t created any animals. They’re completely lying – and if they persist with this lie, I will challenge them to a poor quality white-collar amateur boxing match. Yes I’m THAT angry.
I mean COME ON People. LOOK HARDER. There’s lots of animals in my zoo.
The reason why they don’t see any hyenas in the hyena cage – is because they’re nocturnal. Yes. They only come out at night. CryptoZoo’s animals are THAT realistic. It’s details, my friends. Details.
Go ahead, take a look. You might hear a faint laughing sound when you stare deeply into the hyena cage. Contrary to popular belief, that isn’t the sound of me going ‘all the way to the bank.’ That is in fact the realistic sound of a hyena. Yes – my animals are THAT GOOD. Realistic, people. REALISTIC.
Pop down the reptile house. We’ve also got some fabulous lizards. FABULOUS. Noticeably, the world’s best Chameleon. Chameleons, of course, are the most camouflaged animal in the world. And ours is so good, it has adopted the precise pigment of an empty cage. In fact it’s so good, it’s practically invisible. I mean, ACTUALLY invisible. THAT IS GOOD VALUE FOR MONEY, my friends.
Then there’s the digital insect house. Full of realistic insects. There’s loads of stick insects. Which look exactly like sticks. I mean REALLY REALLY like sticks. In fact, Super-like sticks. So like sticks they don’t even move. They are THAT good.
So log-on to Logan, and keep sending your money – and I might make more animals. In fact I promise I’ll make, like, a jackdaw. And by that I mean, I’ll make like a jackdaw, and take your shiny coins and fly off.
Yeah, I’m THAT good.