Decentraland is to host the Metaverse Music Festival, with 100+ artists over 3-days. But can ‘watching a metaverse concert at home’ ever replicate a REAL Music Festival Experience?
It CAN – but Planet Crypto recommends you first take the following measures:
- At a real festival, your view of your favourite band is often ruined by a woman sitting on her boyfriend’s shoulders. To recreate this at home, simply tape the same image over your computer screen.
- Mimic the experience of buying festival food by making a burrito at home then burning $20.
- To recreate the festival toilet experience, simply stop flushing yours in the three months leading up to the event. Place a furnace heater in the bathroom to capture that full ‘Portaloo baked in the sun’ assault on the senses. Then, to take the experience to the max, replace your supply of toilet paper with a single burrito-stained napkin.
- Recreate the experience of buying a festival T-shirt by buying a normal T-shirt and leaving a 1,000% tip.
- Mimic the experience of buying fake festival highs by crushing an aspirin into fungal foot powder. Remember to mutter, “I’m definitely feeling it now”, whether you do or not.
- Leave bolt cutters next to your fence so that ticketless cheapskates can gatecrash your festival.
- Recreate that ‘authentic festival view ‘of the headline act by displaying the metaverse concert on your smallest screen… right down the end of the corridor. To feel nearer the action, create a mosh pit by climbing into your wardrobe, then ask your family to violently rock it. Remember, broken ribs are not a reason to leave.
- A sea of lighters held aloft by the crowd is an awesome festival sight. Recreate it at home by asking some observant Jewish friends to lend you their Menorah candlesticks. You can also recreate the lottery of sudden rain showers by holding the candles too near to your sprinkler system.
- Mimic the feeling of being surrounded by embarrassing drunks by inviting extended family for an early Thanksgiving.
- Recreate the queue to exit a festival by simply standing still for 4 hours once it’s over.
- So, you’ve spent too much, couldn’t see the acts, and had a revolting toilet damage your nasal lining. Congratulations, you’ve now had a genuine festival experience that you can brag about for years.