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Do Kwon proposes to rescue titanic by forking it

Do Kwon, creator of disastrous cryptocurrencies UST and Luna, today proposed a radical plan to try and recover the sunken ship Titanic by hard-forking it.

Speaking to the surviving passengers of the failed shipping venture, he lamented:
‘I am heartbroken about the pain this ship has brought on all of you. I know many of you ended up freezing and floating on lifeboats in the Atlantic.

‘And so I have spent the past few days on the phone to the Titanic community members – the shipbuilders, dockworkers, cabin staff and bo’suns that have been devastated by iceberg colliding.

‘And the good news is, I have a new plan to get this ship afloat. What I’m proposing is a hard fork of the Titanic, which will be split into two: the current Titanic and a new Titanic which would exist at the same time but operate differently.’

Existing passengers would be offered the opportunity of joining a new Titanic which would ditch the old policy of pegging itself into icebergs.

He promised that fans of the Classic Titanic would still enjoy the benefits of lying on a seabed under 10,000 leagues of ocean.

But existing passengers would be offered the opportunity of joining a new Titanic which would ditch the old policy of pegging itself into icebergs.

Even though many of the passengers have drowned, Do Kwon claims his new proposal has ‘the broad support of the Titanic passengers and crew.’

One of Do Kwon’s aficionados asserted that ‘the Titanic community stands united and believes in a future for the Titanic…. No way would it end up crashing into another iceberg, leaving us clinging onto driftwood in the Atlantic…’

The aficionado then said, ‘Now excuse me, I am expecting some men in white coats’, before eating his own shoe.

Kate Winslett, the star of the movie ‘Titanic,’ was unavailable for comment.